
All Lindsay had to do was get on a plane to make $150,000 for showing up at a party. She’s such a screw-up that she couldn’t even do that. I bet if you told her to solve a Rubik’s cube, she’d somehow make it explode. The most basic of tasks would turn into the hardest thing ever. Like if you told her to get you a cup of water, she’d come back an hour later trying to pull off a python wrapped around her neck.