Angelina Jolie slept with Mick Jagger

In a new book called “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: The True Story”, writer Jenny Paul alleges Mick Jagger had an affair with Angelina Jolie while he was still married to Jerry Hall. She claims they started seeing each other after Jolie starred in the video for Anybody Seen My Baby? while she was married to Johnny Le Miller. It’s also said they had another affair six years later in 2003 while Mick Jagger was with L’Wren Scott.
This is based on claims that the two were seen going back to Jagger’s room at the Oriental hotel in Bangkok, Thailand.
The book also alleges Angelina was sleeping with Ralph Fiennes and dating Colin Farrell but ended that on account of his drinking problem.
Jenny also says other stuff like how Brad’s marriage to Aniston was pretty much over by the time they were seeing each other, how they want to have 13 children (some adopted, some biological) and now Brad wears the pants around the house.
I believe it because why the hell wouldn’t you want to sleep with Angelina Jolie. That’s like asking if you want fame, fortune and eternal happiness or do you prefer to be poor, fat and to die alone with AIDS.

Breaking: Angelina Jolie’s neck

The big news of the day is these photos of Angelina Jolie’s neck. Everyone is wondering what the hell that is. Is she one of those aliens from V come to make our planet… sexy? Or is it something else? The consensus is Photoshop.
Us Weekly, however, says the picture wasn’t altered and Angelina had the same veiny/tendony thing at the BAFTA awards. Us consulted plastic surgeons who say it’s from Botox or Gore-Tex injections while others say it’s from thin skin and having less than 10% body fat.

Dr. Elie Levine, who has not treated Jolie, says that it appears she’s “received Botox to her face and likely her neck” because she shows “no wrinkles along the sides of her eyes (the crow’s feet) despite that very large smile… and her forehead is smooth.”
Botox paralyzes muscles, causing one to “recruit other muscles that are not regularly used to twisting the neck and smiling widely” to compensate, he adds.
But Dr. Lyle M. Back believes Jolie has not received any cosmetic surgery. He credits the protrusion to Jolie’s “very thinned out skin — tented and pulled over the edge of the angle of her jaw” as the result of her having less than 10 percent body fat.

Whatever. Angelina could have gills on the side of her neck and I’d still do her. She could rip off her face during sex to reveal a humanoid lizard creature and I’d probably freak out, but not before I finish.
[Venice, February 17. Images via INF.]

Angelina Jolie pays tribute to her mother

Wednesday is the 3rd anniversary of Angelina Jolie’s mother’s death. Which is why she and her brother James Haven decided to make a tribute video and put it on YouTube. The footage depicts a young Jolie and her brother in Hawaii back in 1981. It also shows that Jolie looks exactly like her mother.
If my cold, black heart could be penetrated by any type of emotion, this might bring a tear to my eye.

Brad’s family wants him to leave Angelina

Over the past week, there have been numerous stories about Brad Pitt splitting with Angelina Jolie. They cite the fact that Angelina wants more children while Brad thinks they have enough and that they’ve been generally unhappy together for the past year. Not to be left out, The Sun chimes in.

Despite having never wed, reports yesterday claimed the couple have visited a top Beverly Hills divorce lawyer and signed a £205million split deal to carve up their assets.
The report claimed they will also share custody of their kids who will live full time with Angelina.
Brother Doug, 41, visited Brad in New York over Christmas and urged him to pull the plug on the relationship because it was making the actor and his family unhappy.
The couple have been putting on a united front but a source said: “It’s no secret they have been in a pretty loveless relationship for about a year.
“They barely spend time together and when they do it is very fraught. They want different things from life.
“Brad’s family are being more vocal with their doubts over the relationship. The only thing they still have in common is their kids. That’s keeping them together at the moment.”

Who knows what’s going on with these two. They seem fine right now. But I’d get pretty pissed too if Angelina kept on bringing in orphans from third world countries. There’s only so many places in the basement to chain them to. And Angelina may think more is better, but a lot of times productivity on those sneakers goes down.

Angelina Jolie has sex scenes!

Angelina Jolie is getting older but I’d still do her because, jesus christ, it’s Angelina Jolie. It looks like Johnny Depp has the same idea because he signed on to star in The Tourist with her. Popeater has the exclusives on their sex scenes straight from the screenplay. Beware, it sounds like a tawdry romance novel you’d find at the grocery store checkout counter. A few scenes:

“The outline of her naked body is visible in the shower … Frank walks to the shower and opens the glass door. Walking in, he lifts Cara against the glass, clutching at her slithery body, kissing her frantically. She kisses him back with ardor, wrapping her dripping legs around his back.”
The screenplay goes on to describe a scene in which Jolie’s character of Cara “turns abruptly to Frank and presses her body against his … They exchange a long, passionate kiss.”
Later on, the sexual desires continue, and one scene goes as such: “Their lips meet. They kiss. And kiss. Like drinking from a fresh spring in the desert … Gently, careful, Frank slips his hands into Cara’s cleavage. Surprised, Cara starts to pull back — but Frank puts a finger to her lips. She hesitates, looks at him questioningly. But she doesn’t protest as his fingers move toward her bra.”

Wow, the only thing that kept me from turning gay while reading that was chugging a whey protein shake and smashing a bottle over my head. I guess actors need something more to work off of than just “Jolie enters room. Depp enters Jolie,” which would have been my version of the script.
Speaking of, here’s a trailer for Angelina’s new movie Salt.